


I Can't Help But Reflect

by CaffeinatedCopyeditor



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Domesticity, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Like so post canon that things have settled down and they are in their twenties, M/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Referenced past abuse, Smart Sokka (Avatar), Trauma, Zuko gets to heal, aka Zukos childhood but nothing is explicit, but like SO CLOSE TO REPLATIONSHIP so close
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29295804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinatedCopyeditor/pseuds/CaffeinatedCopyeditor
Summary: Zuko struggles to live in a palace that holds so many unpleasant reminders. Fortunately, Sokka is there to remind him of other things.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 80





	I Can't Help But Reflect

There’s a large mirror, just outside of Zuko’s bedroom.

Its not new. He remembers it from when he was young, though the gilded dragons that circle his reflection are less shiny these days. The years have not been kind to it, with long scratches embedded in the surface, left behind from one battle or another. He also distinctly remembers the dragons having eyes made of rubies, though there are only empty slots there now. The hollow gaps kind of give him the creeps.

Zuko does not have to think very hard to guess where the rubies went. Ozai’s servants were never as loyal as he believed. Fear does not brew trust.

The mirror used to hang just within the west entrance, spreading light throughout the passageway. Zuko cannot recall if it was moved to the tower before or after he left, but now it is outside his bedroom. When he leaves for council meetings, and Agni-kais, and to settle disputes - he checks that mirror. He sees himself in red robes, armour, and royal regalia. He watches his hair grow longer, and his cheeks grow fuller. The mirror shows him who he is. But, despite himself, that is never what he sees when he passes the mirror.

The west entrance was the closest to the room he grew up in. He remembers standing in front of that mirror, ten years old, wiping peach juice off his chin. He did not want to make a bad impression in front of father’s dinner guests. He failed. Once or twice, his mother stood behind him in that misted reflection, her eyes unsmiling as she straightened his training clothes. He knows he and Tye Lee sparred in this corridor once, because the dent is still visible in the bottom left of the frame. Zuko does not like the mirror.

The first time he saw his scar, whilst it was still just a wound, it was in this mirror.

‘Do you want to get rid of it?’ Sokka asks. Zuko brings it up casually as they pass the golden thing, but Sokka knows him too well. ‘I’m sure you can afford to replace a mirror.’

He slips a comforting hand into Zuko’s, as easily as breathing. They descend from the tower together, taking the steps in unison. It is non-traditional for the Ambassador's room to be next to his, but Sokka has always been an exception. 

‘No. It’s not that simple.’

‘Oh, is it a superstitious thing? You don’t have to break it. Just shove it somewhere.’ Sokka rubs his chin thoughtfully. ‘Or like, paint over it, I guess. Hey! I could turn it into a portrait of you!’

Zuko chuckles lightly, elbowing Sokka as they spill into the breakfast hall. He still half-expects to see Toph at the table, already eating, but she is travelling this month. Zuko misses her already.

‘I appreciate the idea, and of course, I would love a portrait done by a master artist like yourself.’ He offers Sokka a wry smirk. Sokka offers a genuine smile in return. ‘But that’s really not the issue. Its more like…if I start with the mirror, where do I stop?’

They sit next to each other, squished at one end of a large banquet table. Everything Ozai did had to be grand, so there isn’t really anywhere more low-key to eat. Still, the two of them make it work. They've mastered the task of making space for themselves in rooms large enough to hold armies.

Sokka doesn’t say anything just yet, instead digging into a bowl of flame-e-Os that had been waiting for him. Zuko gets the feeling that he's being given space to talk. Sokka’s patient, like that. Loud, obnoxious, sure. But quiet when he needs to be. Zuko can’t help but offer him a small, grateful smile. Feeling sappy, he fumbles to find the words to explain himself.

‘Alright so, uh. Imagine you’re a big…a big pie, right? And some guy, probably a chef – no! He’s a king. So this king guy cuts into the pie, and it sucks, but you aren’t the whole pie. You're just a slice of pie. So you aren’t like, dead, but you still aren’t happy because Oh No, The Pie!’

Sokka bursts out laughing.

‘Oh Zu- Zuko!’ He shrieks. ‘Seriously, its adorable, but you have to stop trying metaphors. They aren’t for you.’

‘Hey! I thought it was pretty good!’ Zuko pouts, flushing bright red. ‘I could have you arrested for laughing at me, you know.’

‘Maybe you should leave the creative stuff to me.’ Sokka chuckles, coming down from his laughter and giving Zuko a gentle pat on the arm. He seems completely nonplussed by Zuko’s threat.

Frowning, Zuko takes a sip of tea. He generally avoids breakfast, preferring to eat once the sun is properly up. It’s a good opportunity to spend time with Sokka outside of work, though, and the others when they are in town.  
‘Let me try again.’ Zuko mumbles. ‘Not with a saying or anything just…okay. So I grew up here, right? At this very table, I ate dinner with my mother. I fought with Azula. Once, I was even poisoned. Everything in this palace has a history. I was always told that this was a good thing.’

‘But now you aren’t so sure.’ Sokka nods in understanding.

‘Exactly. These are relics, items that have been in the palace for generations. I’m already throwing out so much tradition with my reign, so it would be a huge deal to replace them. Bad memories won't be enough of a reason for my council members.’ Zuko sighs, sending steam from his tea spiralling. ‘Sorry for complaining. It’s not like I can replace the whole palace, anyway.’

Sokka nods again, looking sad. He’s running a long, calloused finger over scratch in the wood of the table. Zuko doesn’t know what that one is from. He’s not the only person to grow up miserable within these walls.

‘You shouldn’t be apologising. None of this is on you. You should- ugh!’ Sokka makes a frustrated noise, turning his seat fully sideways so that he can face Zuko. Zuko turns too, mirroring him. ‘Look, I know you didn’t want the throne, and its not fair that you had to take it. If I had been through all that shit, I’d never want to go home again, never mind live there! It must be…rough.’

‘Its not ideal.’ Zuko admits. His chest is tight, but he doesn’t feel like crying. He actually feels sort of like laughing, like all the weight has been drawn out of him now that he’s actually had a chance to talk. Being around Sokka has that effect. ‘But I have bigger things to worry about. My people–'

‘Enough of that. What have we said about putting your people ahead of yourself?’

Zuko lets out a noise that’s part chuckle, part sigh, and part cat-turtle stuck in a tree.

‘Sokka, I’m not going to-‘

‘Say it!’

‘Fine!’ He shakes his head, bemused. ‘I’m people. If I’m protecting people, I have to protect me.’

Sokka pumps his fist in the air, proud of himself. Zuko can’t help but think that, maybe, Sokka might be a little proud of him too. He certainly seems to be beaming, one thousand suns glowing from his smile. Its so bright that, for a second, Zuko is convinced he must be a fire bender.

‘That’s more like it! Oh! And that gives me a great idea, actually.’ He wiggles his eyes bows, mischievously. ‘If we can’t afford to replace the items, then we will just have to replace the memories. Bad for good, you know?’

It’s like someone just lit a firework beneath his eyelids. Of course. Where before this place was filled only with tragedy, the future ahead is so much brighter. Sure, he can’t actually erase all the bad things. It’s going to be difficult. But Ozai is gone, and the palace is his, and the kingdom knows peace. He has Sokka, a wonderful Ambassador and one of his favourite people, right here with him. Oh, and that? That is a lovely thought.

‘Let’s start now.’ He says back to Sokka, daring to be a little bold, squeezing Sokka’s hand. Their eyes meet, full of an emotion that neither is quite ready to admit, but each is ecstatic to feel. They rest their foreheads together, content to be so close, and both happy to be safe.

Zuko still does not like the mirror, but he hates it less. Particularly when he exits his room one morning to find that the missing rubies have been replaced with sapphires. They shine a bright blue, deep as the ocean, and remind him very sincerely of Sokka’s brilliant eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please feel free to leave a comment/kudos if you have the time! :)   
> Take care.


End file.
